Jets Vs. Patriots: The Morning After

Upon the dawning of the sun, on this, the seventh morning of the twelfth month of the year of our lord, Two-Thousand and Ten, news has been sung to me from on high of the returning of our Messiah, the anointed one. For there have been three long years of denial, as it was told "that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts, and saying, Where is the promise of his coming?" (2 Peter 3:3-4) And so it came as great surprise to the plentiful pundits that Sir Thomas Edward Brady Jr. had returned to show us the one true path towards the light. From his hand the wonders of touchdown passes have rained through the sky signifying the coming of the end times. Quoting The Book in His post-game press conference, He spoke, "I will show wonders in the heaven above and signs on the earth below, blood and fire and billows of smoke," (Acts 2:19) continuing, "And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in the whole world as a testimony to all nations, and then the end will come." (Matthew 24:14) Upon the dismantling of the reality-TV star Jets, He hath certainly shown Himself to be the Player of Most Value, eclipsing one killer of dogs with the flowing hair of America's sweetheart. And let this day stand in time as the point which made it possible for Thomas Edward Brady Jr. to become the next Republican Senator from Massachusetts.

Praise Him.