Greatest Rapper Of All Time Is Worst Part Of One of The Best Rap CDs Of All Time

Holy shit Jay-Z.  The new Kanye CD is nearly perfect.  However, on two consecutive tracks H-O-V-A has verses that have to be amongst the worst he's ever laid down.  Put on a pair of old boots, because we're about to take a walk through these steaming piles of shit.

"Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong
Lochness, Goblin, Ghoul, a zombie with no conscience (Editors note: This last line is particularly stupid)
question what do all these things have in common
everybody knows I’m a motherfucking monster"
-Here, Jay-Z proves that he does in fact know what things would constitute as monsters

"conquer, stomp ya, stop your silly nonsense
none of you niggas know where the swamp is
none of you niggas have seen the carnage that I’ve seen
I still hear fiends scream in my dream"
murder murder in black convertibles
I kill a block I murder avenues
rape and pillage a village, women and children"
-Jay-Z is like 20 years removed from being gangster; I'll let this go because I'll probably totally dig the new Dre Cd where he's talking about guns right before he goes to film his next Dr. Pepper commercial

"everybody wanna know what my Achilles' heel is
Love I don't get enough of it
all I get is these vampires and blood suckers
all I see is these niggas I’ve made millionaires
milling about, spilling there feelings in the air
all I see is these fake fucks with no fangs
tryna draw blood with my ice cold veins
I smell a massacre
seems to be the only way to back you bastards up"
-Okay...hold on...who are all of these rappers who are profiting off Jay-Z?  My knowledge of mainstream hip-hop is pretty poor, but I'm pretty sure like half of the rappers out there are on this CD that Jay himself produced.  We all know Jay-Z had a feud with NAS (who Kanye considers one of his biggest influences), but that was like 1999.  Who are you? Eminem?  If you're still referring to NAS, get over it.  Eminem is still rapping about his mom, (ex?)wife, and daughter?  His daughter has to be like 30 by now.  

"How should I begin this
I’m just so offended
how am I even mentioned by all these fucking beginners?"

-Who? Kanye? Drake? Kid Cudi? Lil Wayne?  Haven't you worked with all of these people?

"I’m so appalled I might buy the mall
just to show niggas how much more I have in store
I’m fresher than you all
so I don’t have to pause
all of y’all can suck my balls through my draws"
-This needs no explaining; I'm pretty sure I wrote this on the back of a box of Miller High Life on a Maxwell Street outtake before I decided it was too stupid

"dark knight feeling, die or be a hero
or live long enough to see yourself become a villain?
-Quoting the Dark Knight? Really?

"I went from the favourite to the most hated"
-I don't remember this happening; I didn't think anything bad about Jay-Z until Blueprint 3 came out, and there's still some good songs on that

"or would you rather be underpaid or over-rated?
moral victories is for minor league coaches
and ‘Ye already told you "We Major" you cockroaches
show me where the boats is, Ferrari testarossa’s
the Hammer went broke so you know I’m more focused
I lost thirty mill so I spent another 30
cuz unlike Hammer 30 mill can’t hurt me
fucking insane, the fuck am I sayin’
not only am I fly, I’m fucking not playing
all these little bitches too big for their britches
burning their little bridges
fucking ridiculous"
-Whatever; this is fine

In conclusion, the new Kanye CD rocks so hard; Raekwon, Nicki Minaj, Rick Ross, etc. are all able to contribute to this CD better than Jay-Z.  Kanye should release a bonus track called "so appalled (that Jay-z almost ruined my perfect album)"